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Pruning fruit trees is very important. It allows the sun to reach all areas of the tree so that the fruit will be better and the tree will live longer Armed with my best sewing scissors and a ladder, I marched right outside swearing I would not call someone to do it for me. I managed to get the ladder opened after thirty minutes and a pinched thumb, and then I climbed right up that thing feeling like Jack on the beanstalk.

I realized I knew nothing about pruning fruit trees as soon as I reached the first limb, but I decided it couldn't be that difficult. I attempted to cut a smaller limb from my tree, and realized that the scissors wouldn't do the job. So I got my husband's chain saw.

It had to be better than my scissors, right? The problem was, I didn't know it would be so loud and it startled me. I threw it on the ground and toppled backwards off the ladder. Luckily, we have soft grass. I swore at the stupid chain saw, then we back up the ladder with it. I was prepared this time; I started again.

Once again, I tried cutting that smaller limb. Did you know that chain saws are very sharp? The chain saw was aggressive and chomped into six and half limbs. Oh man, this really ticked me off. My precious tree! 1/4th of it was on the ground. Not to mention the fact that when those limbs fell, one of them hit me right in the forehead and left a big scratch. I would not give up.

Grabbing the hedge shears, I started climbing the tree itself. After all, how hard can pruning fruit trees be? As I was going up, I kicked over the ladder by accident.

I was absolutely fuming as I waited until my husband found me in that bleeping fruit tree. I was bleeding from the head and had dirt all over my butt. My husband was laughing as I made my way back towards the house. I gave one last withering look to the tree and muttered, "Until next year!"